Fat Jon answers:

Chicken, sliced onions and BBQ sauce – enough to cover the chicken. I put it on low to cook all day. Shred with two forks – pulling it apart – about a half hour before serving and put it back into the crock pot. Makes like a pulled chicken. I do this with pork and beef too. Yummy. We usually have it on rolls with some cheese. Carrot sticks for a side. Leftovers are even better.

Fat Jon answers:

This is good plain, w/o the Whisky Sauce. And it uses “real” fruits, not those fake-o things from the grocery store. (WTH is a citron anyway?!)

Creole Christmas Fruit Cake w/ Whisky Sauce

For the Simple Syrup:
1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup water
1 1/2 tablespoons lemon zest, cut in strips
2 tablespoons lemon juice

For the Cake:
1/2 pound mixed dried fruits, such as blueberries, cranberries, cherries, raisins, and chopped apricots
1/2 pound, (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons granulated sugar
2 ounces almond paste
4 large eggs
1/2 cup Grand Marnier, or other orange-flavored liqueur
2 cups bleached all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon ground cinnamon
Pinch freshly grated nutmeg
1/2 cup slivered almonds, toasted
1/2 cup pecan pieces
1/2 cup walnut pieces
1/4 cup bourbon

Make a simple-syrup by combining the sugar and water in a medium-size heavy-bottomed saucepan over medium-high heat. Add the lemon zest and juice and bring to a boil, stirring to dissolve the sugar. Boil for 2 minutes and remove from the heat.

Combine the dried fruits in a large mixing bowl. Pour the simple-syrup over them, toss to coat and let steep for 5 minutes. Strain and reserve the syrup.

Cream the butter, sugar and almond paste together in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle at low speed, occasionally scraping down the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula. Beat until the mixture is fluffy and smooth, about 2 minutes. Add the eggs 1 at a time, mixing in between each addition on low speed and scraping down the sides of the bowl as necessary. Add 1/4 cup of the Grand Marnier and mix to incorporate.

Combine the flour, baking powder, salt, cinnamon and nutmeg in a medium-size mixing bowl and blend well. Add this mixture 1/2 cup at a time to the butter mixture with the mixer on low speed, each time mixing until smooth, about 2 minutes. Scrape down the sides of the bowl as necessary. The batter will be thick.

Add the warm fruit and all of the nuts a little at a time, mixing well. Scrape down the sides of the bowl and the paddle.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Lightly grease a bundt pan with butter or non-stick baking spray. Pour the batter into the pan and bake until golden brown and the top springs back when touched, about 45 to 50 minutes (turning the pan to ensure even browning after 30 minutes.)

Cool the cake for 20 minutes in the pan, then remove and continue to cool upside-down on wire racks.

Make tiny holes with a toothpick randomly on the rounded end of the cake. Combine the remaining simple syrup with the remaining 1/4 cup of Grand Marnier and the bourbon. Wrap the cake in a layer of cheesecloth and pour 1/4 cup of the syrup over the top of each cake. Store in a plastic zip bag for 3 or 4 days until the cake is slightly stale. Sprinkle syrup over cakes once every 2 to 3 days until all of the syrup is used. Let the cakes age for up to 3 weeks before eating.

For the Whiskey Sauce:
3 cups heavy cream
1/2 cup bourbon
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons cornstarch

Combine 2 3/4 cups of the cream with the bourbon and sugar in a medium-size nonstick saucepan over medium-heat. Stir to dissolve the sugar.

In a small bowl, dissolve the cornstarch in the remaining 1/4 cup cream. Add this to the cream-and-bourbon mixture and simmer stirring often, until the mixture thickens, 4 to 5 minutes. Remove from the heat and serve warm with the fruitcake.

The sauce may be stored, after it has cooled, in an airtight container for 24 hours. When ready to serve, warm over low heat.

–Emeril Lagasse, 2003

Fat Jon answers:

Honestly, cooking takes practice. No one really gets it right all the time right off the bat. One of the hardest things when you’re first learning to cook is to get everything done at about the same time. I would suggest you invest in some decent pots and pans for cooking things like pasta, vegetables, potatoes, etc. The crock pot is a good idea for some things but do a little research online and lookup “slow cooker or crock pot recipes” on Google or Yahoo search.
As far as your meats go, get yourself a meat thermometer and a temperature chart for the proper temps for cooked meats. The internet is a valuable resource when learning to cook. Www.foodnetwork.com or www.cooks.com and www.bettycrocker.com are good websites for recipes.
I have a copy of the better homes and gardens bridal cookbook which has simple recipes and lots of help for cooking, entertaining, and cocktails for new brides.
I’ve been called “the best cook I ever met” by my husband and his friends all clamor to come over for dinner, but quite honestly, my cooking successes came at my family’s expense when I was a teenager just learning to cook. Not everything comes out wonderful, but just learn to tweak your recipes and try again. Just brace your husband for the ‘less than perfect’ stuff, and have a pizza delivery menu on the side.

Fat Jon answers:

Being a small business owner is the hardest work you could possible imagine. It’s so tough that 9 out of 10 small businesses fail. You need a huge amount of money and many years of experience to even begin.

The first thing you need to do is graduate from culinary school. You have to know how to work in a professional kitchen before you even consider moving forward as a business owner.

Second you need to gain experience by working in a restaurant as a bakery chef or for a caterer or bakery. Work your way through school. Graduate. Get all the experience you can. After about 5 years of real professional experience you can start to think about your own business. Then you’ll need to go back to school to learn how to be a small business owner so you can be successful at what you do.

Give up the 7 year plan and just work it on whatever timeline happens. If it takes 12 or even 15 years so what, you’ve still achieved your goal.

Fat Jon answers:

It is not healthy to try and lose 10 pounds in a week.

Fat Jon answers:

Did you know you can get high on nutmeg? I would just make some fondant, get high on nutmeg, and then eat the fondant. No, but seriously, have you tried reading a book? There are some good ones out there, even for young people such as yourself. I would start with something by Henry Miller or De Sade.

Fat Jon answers:

Hawaiian Tarts
Ingredients
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup confectioners’ sugar
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1 cup butter, softened
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup pineapple preserves
1/2 cup white sugar
1 egg
1 1/2 cups flaked coconut
1/3 cup confectioners’ sugar for decoration
Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
In a large bowl, mix together the butter, vanilla and confectioners’ sugar until smooth. Sift together the flour and corn starch. Add the flour mixture to the bowl and stir by hand until a dough forms. Roll dough into 1 inch balls and press into miniature muffin cups. Mold dough into the shape of the cup.
In each cup, put 1 teaspoon of pineapple preserves. In a small bowl, Mix sugar and egg until well blended. Stir in the flaked coconut and put 1 teaspoonful of the coconut mixture onto each of the pineapple filled tarts. Bake in the preheated oven for 25 to 30 minutes. Cookie crusts should be slightly golden. Cool tarts in the pan for at least 15 minutes before attempting to remove. Lightly tap mini muffin pans on the counter to loosen tarts. Dust lightly with confectioners’ sugar before serving.
Brownie Tarts
Ingredients
1/2 cup butter or margarine, softened
1 (3 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
1 cup all-purpose flour
FILLING:
1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips
2 tablespoons butter or margarine
1/2 cup sugar
1 egg, beaten
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup chopped pecans
maraschino cherry halves (optional)
Directions
In a mixing bowl, cream the butter and cream cheese. Add flour; mix well. Chill for 1 hour. Shape into 1-in. Balls. Place in ungreased miniature muffin cups; press into the bottom and up the sides to form a shell.
For filling, melt chocolate chips and butter in a small saucepan. Remove from the heat; stir in sugar, egg and vanilla. Add the pecans if desired. Spoon into shells. Bake at 325 degrees F for 30-35 minutes or until brownies test done with a wooden pick. Cool 10 minutes before removing to a wire rack. Garnish with cherries if desired.
Pretzel Tart
Ingredients
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup butter, softened
1 1/2 cups crushed pretzels
1 (3.4 ounce) package instant lemon pudding mix
1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
1 cup confectioners’ sugar
1 (12 ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed
Directions
In a mixing bowl, thoroughly cream sugar and butter. Mix in pretzels. Press mixture into a 9×13 inch baking pan. Cover and refrigerate.
Prepare lemon pudding mix according to package instructions. In a separate bowl, beat together cream cheese and confectioners’ sugar. Fold in whipped topping.
Spread cream cheese mixture over top of pretzel crust. Then spoon lemon pudding over cream cheese layer. Cover and refrigerate until pudding is set.
Linzer Tarts
Ingredients
1 1/4 cups unsalted butter, softened
2/3 cup white sugar
2 cups sifted all-purpose flour
1 3/4 cups ground almonds
1/8 teaspoon ground cinnamon
5 tablespoons raspberry jam
1/3 cup confectioners’ sugar for decoration
Directions
Cream the butter and sugar together until the mixture is light and fluffy. Beat in the flour, 1/2 cup at a time, the almonds and cinnamon, and continue beating until the mixture becomes a slightly stiff dough.
Shape the dough into a ball, wrap it in wax paper or plastic wrap and refrigerate it for about one hour.
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C).
On a lightly floured surface, roll the 1/2 of the dough into a sheet 1/8 inch thick. With a 2 1/2 inch cookie cutter, cut as many circles from the sheet as you can. Knead the leftover scraps of dough into a ball and roll it out again into a 1/8 inch sheet. Cut out more circles. You should now have about 12 circles.
Arrange them on an ungreased baking sheet leaving about and inch of space between them.
Repeat the rolling and cutting process with the other half of the dough, but before placing the second batch on the baking sheet, cut out the center of each circle with a 1/2 inch cookie cutter. Bake both batches for 10 – 15 minutes or until light brown. Cool on cake rake for 20 minutes.
Spread tops of the solid circles with a thin coating of jam, lay a cutout cookie on top of each, pressing the two together so they make a sandwich. Spoon a dab of jam into the opening of each tart and sprinkle the tops with confectioners’ sugar before serving.
NOTE: Keep dough as cold as possible for easier handling. You may have to chill it after rolling it out so that it will be easier to cut.

Fat Jon answers:

Chicken or Ham Divan. Grease a casserole dish. Take slices of deli cooked chicken or ham (sliced to be about the same size as a piece of bologna), wrap each around the stem of a broccoli that has been steamed till it is almost done. Fasten with a colorful toothpick. (Have you ever swallowed a toothpick – instant trip to ER.) Cover with a cheese sauce which you make either by adding tons of shredded cheddar to a white sauce, or if you want a quicker method use a can of undiluted cheese soup. Bake at 325 until cheese is hot and bubbly and the broccoli is tender.

Serve with rolls, peaches and maybe garlic mashed potatoes.

Fat Jon answers:

Very good! Suggested changes in CAPS:

DURING the last summer holidays Svenja travelled to the USA. She stayed in Florida FOR FOUR WEEKS! As a small present she brought a cookbook ( or rather a cooking magazine) for me.
I am not the best cook: I´m able to make pancakes, noodles, scrambled eggs, hard-boiled eggs (even if they ARE supposed to be soft-boiled) and some other easy meals, however I always enjoy cooking. So I was sure that the “taste of home” magazine would bring me a lot of fun and maybe it also would improve my “culinary art”.

Well, now I want to introduce three recipes to you, which show the motley and high calorie cooking TYPICAL of the USA.

Fat Jon answers:

Mexican Craving

Ingredients

rice (any kind)
ranch dressing
tortilla
hot sauce

Directions:

Prepare rice, put in tortilla, put as much ranch on top of that as you like, and as much hot sauce as you would like.

Eat!

Bean and Rice Burritos

Ingredients

1 cup uncooked rice
1 onion, chopped
4-5 cloves garlic, chopped or minced
green pepper, chopped
jalapeno pepper, chopped
1 can (or approx. 15 oz. Dry) black beans
1 can (or approx. 15 oz. Dry) white or pinto beans
sliced mushrooms (quantity to your taste)
sliced olives
tortillas
lettuce, tomato, sprouts

Directions:

Cook rice. While rice is cooking, saute onions and garlic for a few minutes. Add peppers. Saute for a few more minutes. Add beans, mash with a fork or some other heavy object. Add mushrooms and olives, saute to your taste. (I like my mushrooms more raw). When you are satisfied, mix everything together in a large bowl.

Heat tortillas, garnish with lettuce, tomato, sprouts and maybe some salsa.

This is a recipe still in progress, so the procedure is still a little cryptic. Enjoy!!

Serves: 4-5

Spicy Black Bean Burritos

Ingredients

1 clove garlic
2 (15 ounce) cans black beans; drain, rinse and reserve liquid
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1 1/2 tablespoons tahini
3/4 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon red pepper
1/4 teaspoon paprika
1/2 cup chunky salsa
1/2 green or red pepper, chopped
1 onion, chopped
1 cup Minute brown rice, uncooked (instant rice)
flour tortillas (at least 20)

Directions:

First, you make the black bean hummus to spread in the inside:

Mince garlic in the bowl of a food processor (or blender). Add 1 can of black beans, 2 tablespoons reserved liquid, lemon juice, tahini, cumin, salt, red pepper, and paprika; process until smooth, scraping down the sides as needed. Add additional liquid to taste.

Second, you make the burrito filling:

Mix beans, salsa, onion and green/red pepper in saucepan. Stir in 1 cup water. Bring to boil on medium-high heat.

Stir in rice. Reduce heat to medium-low; cover. Cook 5 minutes. Remove from heat; stir. Let stand, covered, 5 minutes.

Last, you put it all together. Spread the hummus in the inside center of the shell of the tortillas. Spoon in the mixture and roll up.

Heat in the oven for 5 minutes or until the she’ll starts to stiffen. Then take them out and wrap them in foil. You can freeze them easily then cook them in the oven for 25 minutes at 350 without defrosting them. If you don’t freeze them, just cook them for ten minutes. Cook them in the foil so that the shells stay soft.

This makes a LOT of burritos, especially if you use small shells. So I usually make a big batch then freeze them.

Serves: 20

Preparation time: 20 minutes

Preparation time: 30 min.

Rice-Bean-Veggie Burritos

Ingredients

4 burrito-sized tortillas
1.5-2 cups cooked rice
1/2 can refried beans
1/2 small can black beans
1/2 onion
1/2 medium sized pepper (green or red)
1/2 cup corn
4 mushrooms
salsa
2 teaspoons chili powder (or to taste)
2 teaspoons cumin (or to taste)

Directions:

Get the rice cookin’ according to the directions on the package.

Assuming you’re doing it on the stovetop, it gives you ample time to dice the veggies- onion, pepper, and mushrooms.

Get the onions sautee-ing in some cooking spray (or whatever your non-stick method of choice is). Once they start to brown, toss in the pepper, corn, mushrooms.

Rinse off the Black beans and add them in the frying pan of veggies. Add the spice!

In a different pan, heat your refried beans over a low setting and add a dash of chili powder to them.

When all of it is done cooking, (veggies are nice and browned, beans are hot, rice is fluffy), assemble scoops (1/4 of each mixture) in the burrito shells.

I really like to then wrap up the burrito and stick it back in the pan to close the shell (and make it crispy)!

Serve with salsa!

Serves: 2 starving/ 4 hungry

Preparation time: 35 mins

or you can create your own with ingredients you enjoy!!
Hope i helped!!!!